I Am Posting This

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because I can't read the previous post with that fucking playlist thing on it

how do i get rid of that

seriously

I'm a nugnut

I like to think that I'm not an eavesdropper, but I'm constantly proven wrong. Case in point the other day i was getting coffee and overheard one of the most textbook stoner conversations of my life.

It began with little things like what this group of people preferred to use to smoke (the consensus was that they loved bongs) as well as how much they love the taste/smell/feeling of pot and I was able to gather that this group of people were quite well versed in the art of drug use.

I was listening to this and being entertained as hell when they hit the jackpot of talking points; where they would most like to smoke. Here's what the first couple of people had to say on the subject...

The first person had this to say, "I want to smoke 3 joints right before I jump out of an airplane while skydiving" - this was met with quite a few "whoa" and "that's a great idea" and "oh man I love pot" from the other people

A girl's best plan was "I want to get ripped while on the beach on the ocean on the Oregon coast. It would be awesome because the waves would just roll in over and over again (she then imitated the sounds waves make when they roll in) " - I'm pretty sure I heard one of them say "righteous"

There were a few others with things like, "on my deck in front of my family" or "in my math class with my professor" but there was one more to go...

"I want to play peekaboo with sea lions on floating icebergs." ... There was straight up silence for a solid ten seconds while everyone took what had just been said to heart and I was even taken aback by the sheer ridiculousness of what was just said. Once everyone had a moment to think about it, they decided that this was the greatest thing a person could do while getting high and one of them even claimed that it would be a life changing event.

I love being home

The Prime Time of Your Life

It's Tuesday night and I'm almost finished with fall semester finals. It's been a shitty, shitty week or so of studying and cramming for tests but by 1:00 tomorrow I will be done. For anybody interested, I'll give a quick recap of how it all went down...

• Last week I had my Microbiology Lab final and I rocked the shit out of it with a solid score of 95.5% . Where did the .5% come from you ask? Well, on one of the questions it asked what the two components of a broth we worked with was and I had no fucking clue. So, I did what I knew I needed to do; I answered with "Bob Dylan" and "A little bit of love". Instead of getting two points off I managed to squeak a half point out of a clusterfuck.
• I took my religion test Monday and all I can say is that it was a tough class and I'm glad to be done with it. As a side note, I listened to Slayer in the hour immediatly preceding and the hour following taking the test so I don't think the class had any sway over me... damn.
• On Tuesday I nailed my microbiology lecture final (I think) and of all the classes I took, this is the one I'm going to miss the most. As lame as it sounds, microbiology managed to hold my attention and keep me interested better than any of my other classes. I feel kind of bad for that test because it didn't see what me coming.
• Also on tuesday, I got shit pounded in my math final. I knew that if I was able to get an 89 on the final I would be able to squeak out with an A- but it was a straight up shit show. I thought I knew far more than I actually did which meant I ended up essentially leaving a 25 point question blank because I had no fucking clue how to even start it... whatever.
• The only final I have left is my intro to psychology final tomorrow and I'm fully confident that I'll ruin the test hence me wasting time with this blog post. *** UPDATE ***. That Psych test got rocked and that's all I've got to say on the subject.
  

It's been a sweet semester, but I'm really looking forward to getting home and sleeping. Not watching tv, just sleeping becuase I've racked up a gross sleep debt these past few weeks and 12 hour days in the library can't be healthy (although it must be a bit healthier than getting hammered which would have been occupying my time... humm.)

F finals

I'm rocking a motivation level of about 4.3 and I've been stuck in a building studying all day because of the blizzard (which is pretty frickin sweet to be honest).

My current plan is that I've got four finals between here and Wednesday and I'll be back to Brainerd by 6:00 Wednesday evening so if anybody is in town let me know.

A Horse Named Stiche

T-minus...

Current finals music in heavy rotation...

• Pantera - Discography
• The Field - From Here We Go Sublime
• The Decemberists - Picturesque
• Justice - † (cross)
• Lamb of god -Killadlephia
• The Killers - Day & Age
• Protest the Hero - Discography
• Mindless Self Indulgence - If, You'll Rebel To Anything
• Daft Punk - Alive 2007
• Radiohead - Kid A
• Thom York - The Eraser: Remixes

Feel free to suggest anything that you think would be enjoyable and it doesn't even have to be study music

BRAHHHH!!!!

No I didn't scream Brahhhh as in "bro" or "brother", it was the sort of sound that I imagine a mother fuckin' dragon to produce mid-murder of the sweetest kind (don't worry I'm getting somewhere with this).


This is the front of a T shirt from threadless.com and I bought it the other day. I bought it because it is undeniably the most metal shirt I've ever seen and I've seen quite a few of them. Just to put it into perspective, it's a naked woman holding a battle axe riding a dragon that's shooting a skull fireball to kill a unicorn. yeah, I know.

That said, I wanted to turn this into another caption contest so whoever comes up with the best name for the shirt design or caption by any of the subjects in the shirt will win some stiche dollars.

As a heads up, the real title of this is "The Last F*ckin Unicorn." You all have some big shoes to fill

I Can't Stay

Thanksgiving has came and went and I feel as though I'm just a better person by just a little bit every time I spend time with the family over the holidays. I used to think I knew what was in store for me whenever I went down to Iowa (where the Stich family comes from and mostly still is) for Thanksgiving, but I've learned to expect the unexpected. Here are some firsts/memorable moments for me to be thankful for.

I spent early Thanksgiving day though Thanksgiving late-afternoon with the pop's side of the family and I was in store for something special and it started with nothing more than a simple question. "Jordan," my dad begins asking me, "do you like Pink Floyd?" At this prompt I had nothing else to respond with a resounding "Hells yeah." and boy was I in for a treat. vh1 Classic had an all day Pink Floyd special on so while I was in the kitchen helping out with the food (yeah I know, it's scary to think that I handled food to be eaten) we were watching Pink Floyd concert after crazy ass, oh my god everybody at this show is on drugs and I mean hard hallucinogenic drugs concert.

I smiled a little bit inside.

From there I made it over to my Grandpa's house on the mom's side of the family and I'll just start this off by saying, no we didn't watch more Pink Floyd. We had a nice evening and my Grandpa went off to go to bed so my mom and I were talking at length for the first time in quite a while when I looked over at the television that had been left on from earlier that was left on mute. What do you know, the television show "Cheaters" was on.

For those of you who don't know what Cheaters is, it's a show that allows concerned people to have a team of private investigators follow around their spouse to see if they are slutting it up. It's stated purpose is to help prevent infidelity because with this show always on the prowl, a person is supposed to think twice about bangin' out of wedlock. The true reason a person watches this show is to watch lives become ruined because they have a confrontation segment that shows the enraged person (who was just shown footage of their spouse having sex with another person usually) meet up with their unfaithful spouse and whoever the third wheel is. Needless to say hilarity ensues as well as tv magic.

Here's the host Joey Grecko getting stabbed while filming the confrontation segment on a boat.

I digress.

My mother and I noticed that this was on and it was a bit awkward for a moment because neither of us wanted to admit how much we love the show based solely off of Schadenfreude so I finally decided to turn up the volume just as we were seeing a gay dude find his partner and another one of his good friends at a night club.

I love the holidays.

Smile

Hot damn I'm excited.



The Killers' first album "Hot Fuss" will always hold a special place in my heart. The album managed to be released at the perfect time for me and I firmly believe that every single track could have been a single and done well. In my opinion it is the greatest pop album of my lifetime, but then again I say that with nothing backing it up.

The Killers' second album "Sam's Town" took the synthesizer pop madness from "Hot Fuss" and infused them with a double shot of Bruce Springsteen and somehow it worked.

Their new album "Day & Age" comes out today and I am in mid-download as I'm typing this. I'm excited and nervous as to how it'll turn out, because this is my favorite pop band and it would suck if they started taking a nose dive, but I'm willing to risk it.

You can download the album for $3.99 at Amazon right here.


P.S. R.I.P. Nick's car. Don't worry, there's a place in hell reserved for those bastards.

Save Ourselves

So guess who's taking advantage of the system (well, I might be getting the reach around on this one because of how much it'll cost but anyways) and using a Sociology 111 course next semester to go on a trip to Paris and London? That's right this guy.

My peers in the nursing program are going to be going to places like southern Mexico or Africa or China and will be doing something worthwhile and non self-serving. Well, that's just not how I roll. I just turned in the last of my papers and immunization records (along with a 600 dollar deposit) so I'm pretty much going to be going to Europe for sure and for the low low price of just under $2,500 I get to spend my spring break (10 days total) in the old world.

Just to put this in perspective of how sweet this will be for me, I've spent a total of 4 days out of the country which consisted of me driving through Canada on my way to Alaska a few summers ago.
I guess this might be a waste of a question, but for anyone who's been to either city (or country) let me know what's sweet to do there. Hell, even if you've never been there what would you most want me to do so you can live out an experience from afar.

That's the worst idea of the MIAC

So as I mentioned earlier someone took a deuce on my floor's bathroom floor about a week ago. Normally I would try to strike that from my memory but through a series of events I faced it again.

As I was walking back to my room tonight after smoking a cigar someone was leaving the bathroom shouting "Who put that shit on the bathroom wall?" and he was visibly irate at what was on the wall.

Upon hearing a combination of the words "shit" and "bathroom", my RA ran out of his room and he was visibly groggy as though he was sleeping and was shaken up to say the least. We all went into the bathroom and looked around, but there was no poo. Someone had written the Minnesota men's hockey record on the whiteboard in the bathroom which led me to believe that he was a North Dakota fan.

When all was cleared up, I looked at my RA and he had a disapointed, almost whistful look on his face. He was ready for some flooor shiting action, but it ended up being a false alarm...
poor guy.



As a side note, if one types in "University of Minneosta Hockey" into google, about midway down the first page is a link to the riots of 2003 after the national championship. sweet

Almost

Today has been the fourth day in a row that my iPod has ran out of batteries from studying too long. I'm going to be in a way better mood once 2:30 rolls around and I'll be done with this shitty shitty week. Who knows, more than 4 hours of sleep might happen.

We've got a bleeder

I received an email from my hall director today and thought I'd share.

"Residents of Erickson Hall,

I want resident feedback about the "pranks" and behaviors of some residents in the Erickson community. You were asked from day 1 to treat this like a home.

So far this year we have had popcorn covering a hallway, shaving cream sprayed in the hallway and lounge, a pile of human crap in the middle of a bathroom, ketchup in a bathroom, excessive vomiting, a thermostat destroyed by the south door, and residents being pennied into their rooms."

All of the sections in bold were things that happened on my floor. Yeah, some fuck up apparently dropped trow and shit in the middle of the night. The next morning I woke up at 5:30 because I had to do some hardcore bio studying (when is it not hardcore?) and I was groggy as hell so when I walked into the bathroom and saw a pile of shit on the floor flabbergasted is about as good a word as I could find to describe my thoughts at the time.

In other news, while I was selling plasma today the person to the left of me had their line removed poorly and I saw a solid 2 foot stream of blood smoke the technician in the face mask.

I laughed to myself while the person across from me had a look of pure horror and disgust.

Would you call that a Character flaw? I hope not

Hot Damn

It's getting to be that time of year again. The time of the year when the days get shorter and a bit colder every day and a little bit of me dies inside. Don't get me wrong, I love winter and snow, but its this in between time when it's rainy and everything is becoming gray/brown/death colored.

It's also the time of the year when daylight savings comes into play and even though I get a sweet ass extra hour of sleep for a day, the trade off is that it's night by 5:00 p.m. which isn't all that fun.

So, in order to keep my sanity I stop listening to certain bands/music because it's just too damn depressing. I've been doing this for two years now and I've found it helps my demeanor as well as overall sanity. So without any further hesitation, here is a list of music I won't listen to until spring.

• Alice in Chains - This is Grunge at it's finest and for 7 months a year or so I love it. However, song after song about heroin and how much they love it is just too much in the middle of winter.

• Staind - I used to really dig this band, but most their songs are depressing as hell and deal with the topic of how much they hate their dads.
  

• Burial - I just started listening to Burial this past summer so only time will tell if I'll be able to listen to it in the dead of winter but something tells me that the relaxation to depression level ratio isn't going to fair too well

• Iron & Wine - This is similar to Burial in that I just started getting into this band this summer but unlike Burial, I have a bit more hope that won't make my heart sad mid-February.

They're just a few bands that won't be getting too many plays this winter but I know that some artists like The Field and The Killers just make me all sorts of happy so it evens out.

Side note from the weekend... I'm pumped as hell to see the Quantum of Solace (the new bond film) as Daniel Craig's previous effort, Casino Royale, was one of the most entertaining films I've seen in some time.

Also, Gears of War 2 came out a few days ago, but I'm trying to show some self control on that. I've got 2 tests, 3 papers (big ones), a 20 minute speach (fun fact - I lost my voice last night and I'm wonering when I'll be getting it back), and a lab report all due this coming week. So, I'm going to hold off and I plan on waiting until Friday to buy it... maybe.

Well, I can't act like I wasn't expecting something like this to happen.

So yeah, I went through with being a huffer for Halloween and it went over better than I thought it would (although I got quite a few dirty dirty looks from parents when I went to a hockey game). I did run into a problem though. A lady friend of mine promised me that she would hook me up with some eye-makeup remover which takes spray paint right off however she forgot. So, I had two options (well three, but I wasn't about to go syphon gas just so I could use gasoline on my face). Option 1 - go to Walgreens and buy some eye-makeup remover with a face full of gold spray paint.
Option 2- Use vodka.

I went with option 2.

Son of a Bitch

I want to mention something I saw in class today, but I need to preface it. I love mythological animals as much (if not more (I fucking love the band Chimaira)) the next guy, but sometimes people just take things too far.

Case in point, today in class I noticed that the girl in front of me has a unicorn tattoo on her back. Not her lower back mind you, it's in between her fucking shoulder blades... Unless it's some sort of family crest (lord help them) I don't know what to think.

Yeah

Hey everybody, if any of you know who Giles Henry is or want to have a good time please listen to my radio show Wednesday night at 9 as it will be another Giles Henry special.

Trust me, it's the best thing you could be doing on a Wednesday night.

I'll Give Her The Tony Danza

Halloween check list...

• Shitty jeans that can be thrown away - Check

• D.A.R.E. (Drug Abuse Resistance Education) T-shirt - Check
  

• One (1) can of Gold spray paint - Check

• Red Ski Mask - Check

• Brown paper bag - Check

• Ability to look higher than a kite - Double Check

• Really bad idea - Check

I'm ready

The Streak is Done

yep, the title says it all. The streak was fun while it lasted but we all knew that it had to end eventually and 108 isn't too shabby. A friend of mine told me upon hearing that it was done that the next big number I could shoot for is 500 and lets be honest, if I was drinking until I was 27 without any breaks it would be pretty fucking badass/sad.

So I thank everyone who helped me with the streak be it giving me a shot, holding a beer bong for me, or carrying my semi-conscious body back to a house/campus/trailer/back seat of a car/dumpster. Next time you have a drink just remember that it could be so much worse.

God Bless America (Wherever It Is)

It pains me to put this on here because I've made very specific requests to other people not to put this sort of thing on my blog (you know who you are and for what). There has always been something inherently funny to me about pornographic movie names that are remakes of real world events such as "Armageddon it on", "Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon", and of course "Lord Of The G-Strings". So when I first read about "Who's Nalin' Palin", which is a film based on Governor and Republican Vice-presidential nominee, I laughed to myself really hard for quite a while and the best part was they were hiring from Craingslist.

This leads me to my conundrum... I don't want to be the guy who puts clips from a pornographic movie on his blog, and I've made it quite clear to someone that they cannot link this blog to a certain website (again, you know who you are). So I'm going to do what I do most times in this situation; say fuck it and let it rip.

Here's the first 5 minutes of "Who's Nalin' Palin" and it is safe for work and I promise that. No nudity, just hilarious dialogue. Enjoy.

Fifteen Cheeseburgers

I found this article today and it made me question his motives. Don't you think the guy would have used it instead of trading it?

This sort of makes one think if there has ever been someone trying to buy Taco Bell with a bottle of Jim Beam.

This is the place

Well guys, I've been trying to find some cool or clever or sweet ass way to say this ut I haven't been able to come up with anything so here it goes. This is the Stiche Corner's 200th post. Pretty sweet, right?

I've touched quite a few topics (and if we'll be honest, hearts), but they've all had that certain unexplainable essence that for lack of a better word has a Stiche-like quality to it. I'm not sure if that's a good thing, well... I'm pretty sure it's not a good thing, but lets say it is and you enjoy the content of this blog. If you have enjoyed the Stiche Corner, I am fairly certain that the format isn't going to change a whole lot in the next hundred posts.

Why? Mostly laziness. Laziness and the lack of writing skills like "grammar" and "knowledge of the English language", but that's not necessarily a bad thing I've found. I'm not sure how to qualify that statement so I won't.

So please continue to enjoy/occasionally glance at/ get angry because I made fun of herpes and if you're a contributor, help a brother out. I'm barely literate.

Aspire part 6

It's been a while since I put one of these guys up but for good reason. I haven't found any pictures worthy of caption contests until now because none of them have been up to snuff (stiche).

Make me proud America and if you put up some decent captions I'll quit with my Franzia posts

For Whom The Bell Tolls

As I was watching the football game tonight I got a call from an old friend and we'll call him Bob Lee for short. Well anyways Bob Lee had read on the blog the other night about my failed Tour de Franzia and told me he was going gung fucking ho. I'll give a brief time line of the events that transpired tonight from my perspective...

8:36 - Call from Bob (who sounded somewhat inebriated already) telling me that he was going to go for the Tour and I wished him godspeed.

8:37 - Another call asking for clarification on if the Tour can be completed by a group of two instead of group of four which I gave the thumbs up to (trust me, I said it and did it even though I was on the phone).

9:14 - While I was in my religion study group working on a project I noticed that my phone was going crazy on vibrate and found that in the span of 2 minutes I missed 3 calls from Bob. uh oh

9:32 - I check my messages and I am able to make out the words "WE FUCKING DID IT WOO HOO!".

9:33 - I call Bob back. He's pretty damn smashed and I'm able to make out every other word or so, but he wanted to let me know that he in fact completed it and as far as I could tell, they did it in less than half an hour.

Bob Lee and Georgus, Living the dream by getting blackout drunk on a Monday night drinking boxed wine that costs ten bucks a 5 Liter bag. As far as I'm concerned, I don't need to look in any presidential history books to find heroes.

Results...

After careful analysis of my attempt last night at the Tour De Franzia, the results are in. Total Fucking Failure.

I was on my fourth cup when there was a knock on the door which was answered. It was an RA (see douchbag) who said he could smell alcohol and he quickly confiscated my 5 liter bag of Franzia minus four cups.

When the 100 dollar fine is added to the cost of the bag of Franzia (18 bucks) each cup comes out to the low low price of only 29.50 per cup of mmm mmm good box wine.


That said, even though they jacked me up my wallet last night, I still have something that they cannot take away; My dream. So stay tuned because god willing it'll happen some day.

I Ask For Nothing But Your Best

“There are countless ways of attaining greatness, but any road to reaching one's maximum potential must be built on a bedrock of respect for the individual, a commitment to excellence, and a rejection of mediocrity.”
- Buck Rodgers


The Super Bowl
The World Series
The World Cup
The Tour De Franzia.

It is tough for any average Joe to be able to witness the first three events first hand let alone compete in them, which is what sets the fourth event on a whole different competitive category.

For those of you not familiar with The Tour De Franzia, it's quite simple. A group of 3-8 competitors (or gladiators as I will refer to them from here on out) assemble and each team attempts to finish a 5 liter bag of Franzia as soon as possible. Each team gets a different flavor of "wine" (and I use the term lightly) and try to race to the finish as fast as possible. That's it. However, there are some variations

- After every liter consumed, the gladiators must ride a bike around a predetermined road (or punji pit covered) course in order to continue consuming the "wine".
- For one on one competitions, two gladiators wear camelbaks and ride around a predetermined course and the last person still on their bike wins.

I can already imagine that some of you are thinking to yourself how utterly emasculating pounding boxed wine is and you're half right. It's pretty damn lame for the first liter and a half but after that you're a champion in anyone's eyes.

So next time you get the need of the hankering of feeling the wind blow through your hair while being intoxicated on something that shouldn't be consumed by any human, pull a Lance Armstrong and you'll know what to do.

Air Band

This made me laugh on quite a few different levels. Enjoy

Becoming

So yeah, someone hooked me up with Pantera's discography yesterday morning and I managed to listen to 3 of their albums yesterday. All I can say is that I have never been more jacked up and ready to fight at the drop of a hat while studying for my religion class or finishing math homework.

There's gonna be some Pantera come Wednesday night. Oh, as a side note, Darin and I decided we need an actual script/talking points because knowing that we'll get kicked off the air because of saying Fuck sort of stifled our flow.

Juice These Hoes

Hey Everybody. Darin and I got a radio show on KORD radio and we'll be airing Wednesday nights from 9:00-10:00 Starting next week. I have no idea what it'll be like, but what I do know is we've got something like 80,000 songs to choose from and we're able to do whatever the hell we please as long as it's within FCC guidelines (which is to say my vocabulary will be sufficiently suppressed). So please, please check it out because I've been thinking about doing this for the past year and want to know what people think about it.

To check it out click HERE and while you're at it, bookmark it or add it as your homepage if you really want.

Thanks

CHECK THAT: WE'RE LIVE THIS WEDNESDAY THE 24TH. CHECK IT OUT

Douse Basketballs in Gasoline

I had a nice Friday night. The Brainerd football team was in Moorhead (which incidental is where my college, Concordia College, is. Who knew) so I got a call from Nick asking if I want to check the game so I did just that.

When I got there, it was already midway through the first quarter and the score was tied with 7. Eventually we ended up winning, but that'll be the extent that I will talk about the game itself because that's not what this post is about.

While I was there I ran into quite a few people from Brainerd including smitty, Phil, Hummer, and of course Nick. I've gotta take a quick detour to congratulate Nick because he gave himself a full blown mullet on Monday and this was the first time I saw him since then. A full blown mullet. Props dude.

Anyways that's still not the real reason I wanted to make this post even though that was a highlight. There were quite a few mosquitoes at the game ( There were actually more than I've seen all summer which is odd because I would have thought they would have all died seeing as how it's late September now, but I digress) which caused everyone I was sitting with to get rather disinterested with the game by the time the 2nd quarter was almost over.

Everyone except for Hummer.

Hummer was anticipating the half to end not so he could get to his car and drive away in his cowboy boots, no, it was so he could talk to Chet. Yes, the legendary Chet that acts as a muse for Nuclear Balloon Arrows and The Cafe Coronaries. With less that a minute left, he positioned himself close enough to the sidelines where the teams leave to go to the locker rooms so that he was well within earshot of Chet once he began the trek himself. I was wondering why it was Hummer looked so excited to see this man. The answer came to light and erased the enigma that had plagued me for all of 45 seconds.

It was a lifting guide. Yep, a lifting guide. And not just one, but two "In case you get a friend to come along". I suppose I should mention that I've found out that Hummer has been using Prohormone which is the closest thing a person can get to taking full blown steroids without getting into the sticky situation of using drugs that are banned from nearly all forms of competition due to a vast array of side effects that quite frankly aren't too super. The funny thing about prohormones is that they happen to cause many of the same side effects that are apparent in steroids. "Some side effects are acne, hair loss, breast tissue enlargement, and prostate swelling."

Sweet.

Can't find a better man

On three separate occasions in the past 3 days I've been asked by rather attractive women, "Hey, do you remember me from Saturday night?" to which I've replied three times, "Yeah, of course I do" and then move onto some small talk. Truth be told I don't remember talking to any of them. Yeah, Saturday night was sweet as hell and I somehow managed to network my way to talking to some cuties, but at the price of not remembering how.

Call me crazy, but I'll put a tick in the win column.

Tyrants Awaken

well guys I've done it. I made it to 104 weekends in a row and I'm going to be taking next week off. Nuff said

I picked up the new Metallica album Death Magnetic a couple of days ago and I've gotta say I'm impressed. I know Metallica is one of those "cliche" bands that just about everyone likes to a certain degree whether it's just a track or two like "Master of Puppets" or "Enter Sandman" or every last album they've pumped out since Kill 'Em All. I like to think that I'm somewhere in between. I want to avoid sounding like a pretentious D-bag, but I am a big big fan of Their first four albums with ...And Justice For All being one of my ten favorite albums of all time. Call me a heritic, but I'm not that big of a fan of the Black Album and I'm not sure why. That said, I didn't like anything they made in the 90's because lets face it, it sucked (I want to stress not sounding pretentious though when I say that). And I guess you could say I was in the minority of the population by enjoying the hell out of St. Anger, but I have a tough time explaining why so I'm just not going to.

That leads me to Death Magnetic. It fucking rocks. The riffs are badass and they come at you at a ferocious speed that's been missing from their work since ...And Justice for All and it sounds like they've been hiding in a cave since 1989 in a good way. They sound almost as if they're trying to emulate themselves from the Master of Puppets era, and if they are they did it in a good way. My only gripe on the album is the lack of double kicks, but that's just a personal preference. And to those who say that the lyrics suck; they're only half right. Metallica lyrics have always been ridiculous so it shouldn't be that big of a shocker when they still are. I can't say anything that hasn't already been said and said better, so if you like rock check it out. Plus they aren't bat shit crazy pissed off if you download it anymore.

I'll try to turn this into a regular part of this blog, and I'll start right now with the first Giles quote. A little bit of preface though first. Giles is a friend of mine who is a lot like me in that he often says things that make little to no sense that are often funny with little to no context of what he was saying. So i give you the first Giles quote

-(I entered the room mid way though a conversation that a drunken Giles was having with someone on the phone) "I was going to drive all the way to the cities just to make out with you", said Giles in a wistful tone.

I Used To Do Drugs. I Still Do, But I Used To, Too.

This weekend has been full of good news. I'll give you a taste of the best.

The Postal Service, which is one of my favorite bands, are according to the Sub Pop Records web site are now active which could mean a follow up to their album Give Up . Even if they don't make a new album and just do some quick touring, I'd be happy as hell still.

Here's a taste (The District Sleeps Alone Tonight)


In other sweet ass news, Mitch Hedberg's people are releasing an album of unreleased material recorded two months before his death.Do You Believe in Gosh? will be coming out on Tuesday the 9th so yeah. This is an album that I will actually buy. That's saying something.


I was going to hold onto this video for a special occasion, but this will do. Everybody who experienced this in Mr. Lade's class will remember this fondly.
Enjoy

Fowl

I know it's been quite a while since i posted here, but i ran into a couple stories that are, in my humble opinion, definitely Stiche-worthy.

First off, I was doing my occasional scan of the good ole' Brainerd Daily Dispatch and came across this. 1-800-STAMP24 to 1-800-TRAMP24, quite stichey indeed.



And for all you track & field fans out there, I give you this gem. That fellow did nothing wrong, he probably just needed to relax before a big jump. Besides "alcohol is not classified as a performance-enhancing substance and is not formally prohibited in athletics competition." Red Bull and vodka great combo my Russian friend.

Stiche Hero Part 2

When the words emperor, eccentric, and bat shit crazy are found together, one is hard pressed to find anything of value much less a hero. That's actually true, but they all describe a special breed of hero; a Stiche Hero...

In the span this blog has existed, there so far has been only one man who managed to earn the title of "Stiche Hero", and I'm speaking of course of the majestic epitome of man that is Admiral Nelson. His dominance (and more than likely loneliness) on this blog has finally met it's match.

I give you Emperor Norton



Emperor Norton, who's common name was Joshua Norton, was a cut above the rest. If there were two things going for him in life, it was his balls and his clinical psychosis. Norton, wasn't the emperor of some small Caribbean island or a piss stain of a nation in the olden days of Europe, he went a cut above.

In 1859, this crazy son of a bitch proclaimed himself the Emperor of the United States, as in the United States of mother fucking America. In order to fully understand how he came to be the mother fucking emperor of the US, one must delve into his past to discover what differentiates a man who in all likelihood had conversations with dogs from the average person.

Using 40,000 dollars that was left to him in his father's will, Norton decided to move to San Francisco and try his and at business. Beginning with investments in the stock market, he quickly amassed a fortune of a quarter million dollars. Through a series of circumstances (which I don't feel like getting into) Norton decided to buy a shit ton (that's a ship load to city folk like you and me)of Peruvian rice in the hopes of selling it at a large profit. Well, lucky for us, it didn't work out and he went bankrupt he went in self-imposed exile only to return a few short years later off the reservation

Fed up with "The Man", on September 17, 1859, he proclaimed himself the first emperor of the US and later added "Protector of Mexico" to his official title in an early attempt at trying his hand in the imperialism game by becoming a "protector" only to later exploit the hell out of it's indigenous peoples. Long story short, he never quite managed to exploit the Mexican population, but that's not to say that it wasn't on his mind from time to delusional time.

Almost immediately after taking control of the nation, Emperor Norton (or Lil' Empy Nor, setting the precedent for rappers to add "Lil'" to their name over 100 years before it was fully implemented) issued numerous decries over his minions (formerly "Americans") including...

-Dissolving the congress
-Abolishing both the Democratic and Republican parties
-Ordering the the Roman Catholic Church AND Protestant churches to ordain him as emperor

Although delusional and "insane in the membrane" (also commonly known as "insane in the brain") he was loved by his fellow San Franciscans. Either through admiration or fear of being defecated upon, many owners of the finest restaurants would give the emperor their best meals for free. He also created and used his own currency which surprisingly enough was actual paper money as opposed to the imaginary kind popular at the time with the schizophrenic of the day.

So I ask my readers that next time you get a delusion of grandeur, to grab a hold of that delusion and ride that fucker to the grave.

I've Never Been Good At Court Ordered Goodbyes

Well, I'm planning on reading both The Audacity Of Hope and Faith of Our Fathers in the coming weeks. Which should I read first?

Really?

Sarah Palin ...

Really? I was expecting something totally different, but... wow.

All I can say is wow... I don't know anymore. but, really?


Really?

The Bottle

I finished my first day of classes today and I've gotta say, they weren't as bad as they could have been.

None of my teachers seem to be on any major power trips and I don't have any death grudges with of the students which surprisingly is a real plus.

The first day of class usually happens the same way.
- I show up to class a little bit early and awkwardly look around for a decent spot to sit where I have the best chance of sitting near/on some hotties.
- After realizing I'm just a little bit too early, I just sit my ass down somewhere and pray to baby Jesus for some decent people to be in the class with me.
- Everyone shows up and I realize that I am not all that near/on any hotties. damn
- Teacher will introduce themselves and hand out syllabus.
- Depending on the age/cannabis use of the teacher they'll attempt some sort of joke that usually falls on it's face, but sometime actually allicts a chuckle or two... I'm waiting for the ladder to happen.
- Depending on the class size the teacher will have an ice breaker where everyone will say their name and mention something interesting about themselves.

Today while in the "icebreaker" phase of the first day of class, most of the normal interesting facts about people showed up like clockwork... "I like to Travel", "I'm a black belt in Karate", "I come from a town of 200". Anyways in my Religion class it gets to this one girl, he name slips my mind right now, and she gave one of the more solid answers I've heard in a while. Her response to what made her different and interesting was (yeah I wrote this down so I can use quotes), "Well, there isn't a whole lot that that's interesting about me other than I often like to drink Red Bull and kick it to VH1".

There was period of about four seconds where nobody made a sound because they were probably all contemplating what was just said. Then there was a chuckle or two and I think I heard a "WTF" from my left.

I guess the only other monumental thing that happened today was when I showed up to my Microbiology class which has about 50 or 60 people, I was one of two (2) guys. F yeah. F yeah...

Sunday Sun

Well shit, I'm all moved in and classes start tomorrow bright and early at 8:00 in the morning. I feel pretty good about my chances this year for a number of reasons, but the fact that I've got 8am classes only twice a week is going to help me get my ass out of bed.

I feel confident that by the end of this weekend I'll have some quality caption contest pictures up because, well, call it a hunch.

In other news, word of me going A.W.O.L. has spread and there is actually a decent amount of interest and I'm quite sure I'm going to get to that again sometime very soon only in a collegiate setting.

Oh yeah, fuck ragweed. Right now I'm tasting every other meal which is good I guess compared to last year of not tasting anything for 3 days.

Wish me luck

Tonight is the last night that I will be living in Brainerd (Crosby if you want to be a d bag about it) for some time. I'll be moving back to Moorhead tomorrow and begin classes again at Concordia College this coming Thursday.

When I try to sum up the summer and try to compare it to past summers/ what I thought summer was supposed to be, and I think I've got it figured out. In short it's been a sweet ass summer.

But, now that summer is done I'm looking forward to this next school year and I've got a good feeling about it. I'm not sure why, but this is the first time I can ever remember feeling stellar about school.

You Were An Experiment

Suck it Bitches, Check what I did on Friday night.




As a side note, it works like a charm although I had a hangover that lasted all of Saturday.

Plus, Dry ice costs about a buck fifty a pound and is ridiculously fun to play with.

Holy Hot Damn!

Well, at some point between Friday in the wee hours of the morning and The late hours of Sunday night the streak will break into uncharted territory... 3 digits.

Wish me luck.

Where We're Going We Don't Need Punctuation

In this past year I've tried my best to start becoming a "reader" or if you want to be a dick about it a "literate person". I found some success in reading, but the one book that I enjoyed the most was Cormac McCarthy's The Road. The book is bleak as hell, depressing, heartwarming, and most importantly it managed to match the tone of Thom Yorke's solo album that I had picked up a few days earlier, Eraser.

Anyways, I've been reading up on possible film developments of McCarthy books and about six months ago I found out that The Road was being made into a film and I was excited. Well, today I saw a photo and I thought I would share it with everyone who doesn't scower the internet like I do when I'm bored.



F Yeah, Viggo is a bad ass.

Funny Huh?

I just remembered that I turn 19 in two days (August 2nd) and am in quite a predicament... I realized that I've got just over a year of being a teenager and all the possibilities/cop-outs that it carries such as;

-acting like a total jackass and having people blame it on my age (the next time I get to use this is when I'm 80 and senile).

-my ability to party hardy for a few days (aka-bender) and be just fine once it's done

-The knowledge that I still look damn good/youthful

-not look incredibly creepy shopping at select stores (American Eagle/Zumiez/Baby Gap)


I think that this is also the last year I can ask for stuff from the folks as far as birthday presents so I'm going all out and asking for 100 bucks worth of stuff. I know, big spender huh. Most of that is going toward a 500 GB external hard drive that I've been putting off for far too long as years of /accumulating/swapping movies and music have crippled my hard drive memory, but it's all good. I shouldn't be able to fill up 500 GB unless I try really, really hard.

On a final note of this post, I'm thinking about going to The Dark Knight for a fourth time. Bear with me now, it'll be at an Imax and I won't be paying a damn cent so I'm really thinking about it. I'll probably go.

Don't read this while watching Speed Racer

I sort of want to keep this blog free from politics, but this is just too damn fun not to do right now. I know that this video is years old now, but I just wanted to prove once and for all that Barack Obama is a terrorist and that he has direct ties with Al-Qaeda or is possibly their new leader. Enjoy

What Did You Expect?

It's been the better part of a month and I haven't posted. It's not because I don't have anything to say, it's just that I haven't had anything important to say.

Well, that's what I thought anyway. Looking back, I haven't really said anything important from the beginning, but that wasn't really the point of this blog was it. Darin's post about midget jockey's reminded me that this blog was built on unsound ground and that quality of posts really isn't that high of a priority. That said, I'll tell you guys what's up...

I was able to see The Dark Knight... three times. To be honest the second time watching it was the best, but the third time still flippin rocked. If you haven't seen it, see it because I can't say anything that hasn't already been said about the film. It's a straight up superhero masterpiece. Does it deserve to be ranked #1 on IMDB? That's for you to decide. Will it remain there? I doubt it, but it's still been really sweet seeing a Chris Nolan film up top.

In other news (well maybe not news so much as semi self-destructive behavior) I'm happy to report that the streak lives at 97 for anybody that was still wondering. This past weeks adventure involved an old friend Caribou Lou which for anybody not accustomed to it, I'll give a quick rundown for you.
-Tech N9ne loves it
-It tastes great
-It'll fuck your world up after a cup and a half
-You'll despise Pineapple juice for about 3 days afterwords

Speaking of Tech N9ne, he's joined the very exclusive group of rappers/hip hop artists that I enjoy and I would highly recommend his newest album Killer to any fan of rap spouted by an angry mother fucker.

More to come soon...

Crazziness at Canturbury!!!!!

Wow its been a while since I've posted or even read the blog.

But anyway i went to my first trip to the canterbury race track on sunday. i have to say it was pretty sweet. not only were the hoarses badass. but i happend to go to the track on EXTREME race day! on this special day they had not only a camel race, but they also had an osterich race. it was pretty badass. every jockey fell off of the osterichs, it was great. so are the jockies. they are almost like real people.

Overread earlier today

"Man I'm so hammered, I'm not even rating girls on a base 10 system anymore! It's all binary, baby."

On another note, I've begun reading Frank Miller's Batman: The Dark Knight Returns and I've gotta say it's pretty friggin badass. The graphic novel takes place ten years after Batman has retired and when he's an old man. Well, Crime starts running rampant when a new gang shows up and there's only one bad mother fucker that can clean the streets of Gotham up again.

Aww Yeah

Check it out

It's really shitty quality, but I found the first 6 minutes of the Dark Knight and I am excited.

Over heard at Big Wood Timber Frames Inc.

i thought id enlighten the world with some of the things people say at big wood. to let you know what i deal with at my home away from home.

Dan: "Is it to early to smoke a oneie?" (6:45 a.m.)
Me: "nope"

me: "you use to deal blow?"
Garrett: "How do you think i bought my house?"

kurt: "i got some hellified coupons for dem dar pall malls"

Urinal instructions: " hold flush button down ENTIRE TIME COCK IS OUT to allow for proper flush, thank you managment."

Dave(the owner): "nick... put your mother fucking phone in your car right now!!!!! if i see either of you smoking or texting and shit like that when your not on break your fucking fired!!!!!!!!!!!"

country (yes he is really refered to as country): what are you doing after work?
tommy: going to my A.A. meeting.

Tommy: " my wife just took out a 5000 dollar loan to help pay for my last DUI."
me: "how many DUI's do you have?"
Tommy: "9..."

Tommy: "i heard jamie lynn spears had to take a break from her show cuz she was pregnant..."
Jeremy: " she didnt wrap her fucking shit up did she? you gotta wrap that shit up..."

One mourning Garrett brought 3 pages that he printed off the internet of words used to descibe shit or the act of shiting, for example the 4th tellituby or toching cloth (when the turtle head of ones faeces pretudes to the extent that it touches the cloth which comprises ones underwear.)

... just a taste of the people i work with everyday

Sweet

As I was taking a 12 minute nap I was called 3 times and texted 3 times as well. I managed to fall asleep at least 2 times so that's kinda cool.

In other news, I just ordered Blood Meridian off of the internet and I'm quite excited for that to show up.

I listen to a shit ton of music at work now (around 100 songs a day) so if anybody wants to recommend some musica para mi, that would be swell because as much as I dig Lamb of God and Dethklok, I don't want to burn myself out. Ever

Speaking of Dethklok, I'm starting to get really excited to see them in convert at first ave. later this month. I don't really know what to expect other than to have a good time which is something I've been getting used to which is nice

The Truth Shall Set You Free

I swear that this will be my last post that just links to a site for a while, but I remembered how funny herpes was. Enjoy (unless of course you don't think herpes is funny)

It's The Tony Danza Tapdance Extravaganza!

Man, I wasted a solid 2 minutes with this and I think other people might waste some more if they try enough.

Fuck tha Police

So here's what went down today at the beach.

Cameron called me up and asked if I wanted to go and meet him at whipple beach and smoke some hookah to which I replied "Hells yeah!" and so the seeds were sown. I had never turned down a hookah session and I wasn't about to start today. I jumped in my car and before I knew it I was at the beach and met up with Cam and the hookah was all set up and going so all I had to do was say hi to everyone (Mick was there) and start hitting that bad boy.

After no more than a minute I saw none other than Mr. Barnett, my AP Econ teacher, and we struck up a quick conversation about how we were both doing, but Barnett had to cut it short because there were a group of kids trapped under a railroad car and he had to stare the car down until it lifted itself back onto the rail** (it only took 13 seconds).

Anyways, after smoking for a solid 10 minutes Mr. Bock came out of nowhere (actually there's a good chance he was coming from his house) and started smoking hookah with us for his very first time which was pretty damn sweet. Not long after he joined us we notice that a po-lice car pulled up and the officer was eye-fucking us from inside his car and I being the law respecting citizen I am wasn't too worried because we were smoking sheesha (sheesha isn't slang for pot by the way).

For a solid 5 minutes we continued to smoke in the bliss that was whipple beach on a beautiful day, but then he got out of the car. He approached us with menacing eyes and pepper spray drawn** and told us to spread our shit or else he was going to and I quote "Rape you in the Fucking Face"**. We did as we were told and after a solid 20 minute Rodney King session** he asked us what we were smoking and that there were reports of a group of roguish looking guys passing around a bong. It was at this point that an "undercover brother" rolled up and we were asked to empty our pockets and asked what we were doing. We told him that we were smoking just tobacco and that there was no Marijuana in there which I guess was enough to convince him that there were better things to do besides hassle some people relaxing on the beach.


As a side note, there were people drinking beer on the beach which is against regulations, but I digress. Fuck the police. oink oink oink.

Passages with "**" may or may not be entirely truthful, but oh well.


Too bad the Stache blog is no longer up, otherwise I would have showed one of them this

Overheard At My Step-sister's Grad Party

Wife: We would have came with our matching shirts, but he didn't want to
Husband: I just told her that she wasn't going to be wearing the shirt so she didn't

W: Well you know how it goes (strong, strong Minnesotan accent) we were shopping at Fleet Farm for some clothes and I saw this nice shirt with my dream car on it(imagine a Hawaiian-print shirt, but with classic cars) and just below my dream car was his dream car.
H: You just can't say no to the selection and really good prices that Fleet Farm has to offer.


Is this what happens to people when they live here for more than 3 decades?

Does Anybody Want to Start a Chapter With Me Here?

Hood rat stuff

my hero. . . http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLeVlBca5lg

Reeemixxxx. . . http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSSQOdBnZ5A&feature=related

Hells Yeah I Want Another One!

Today has been a good day.

I woke up really hung over (would it still count as the streak even if it was on a Wednesday night) and went to work for a few hours until the machine I was on (which costs around 45,000 stopped working. From there I was sent home because there wasn't anything for me to do at the time and I slept like a motherfucker. I slept for about 3 and a half hours and when I woke up I found this



Girl Talk released a new album Feed the Animals and you can pay whatever yoy want on his website. All I can say is if you checked out Night Ripper on one of my last posts you'll love this one.

Na na na na na na na na

I've found that my mind wonders quite often, especialy at work. At work today, my mind wandered in a way that it had never done so before.

I'm not quite sure how I made it to the thought, but all of the sudden I had the sudden curiosity of what Chevey Chase was doing at that moment in time.

Was he playing tennis?

Was he wearing sneakers? sandles? hunting boots?

What was he having for lunch?

The more I started thinking about this, the more I realized how fucking weird it was that I was thinking about it. Then I started thinking about Caddyshack and moved onto Bill Murray

Unforseen Consequences

Lots of stuff have been going on in my world lately. lots of stuff.

First things first - I got a hookah. Cameron and I decided to get one and after we dropped 150 bucks, we got one. It's a 3 hose tall boy and it looks kinda like this...


I've used it far too much already and I can feel the cancer beggining but it's not so bad. So I've got a hookah now and all I need are some suggestions on what the best flavor of shisha is and a possible name for the guy. Cameron and I haven't agreed on a name yet, but I'm sure we can figure something out eventually.

Man, hookah is fun.

Aspire Yet Again

I apologise for not posting more recently, I've been ripping it up pretty friggin hardcore and you all know what that means... CAPTION CONTEST!!

I'll make it a double caption contest because there are so many great/horrible pictures.

Here's part one: This was right around the time when night three ended.


And here is part two: This takes place the day after night three.


feel free to comment on either one or both if you think there's a little Stiche in you.

Mother Fuckin' Wicked

I've actually been kind of buys lately. I know weird, right? I've actually have a job (sort of)and I've been helping out the folks with some home improvements that they decided could wait for the 8 months I was gone at school to do. Oh well.

I never thought I would say this, but I actually am liking this whole work and do shit thing that I've heard so much about but have never really gotten around to until now. It's a good feeling.

Speaking of good feelings, Busted Tees has released something that must have come straight from the gods: The Octabong Look at this bastard!

If that doesn't say fun for all ages, I don't know what does.

While we're on the topic of good feelings, Sigur Ros are about to release a new album in late June and they've released the first track from it entitled Gobbledigook. Check it out at sigurros.com. it's free.

On a final note, I ended up going to the movies three times in three days last week.

I wasn't planning on going to any movies, but I got a call from Jeff saying that Speed Racer had it's last showing on Thursday and I knew what I had to do. Even though it tanked hard with audiences, I had to see it and Jeff was nice enough to give me a ride to the theaters. All I can say is wow. That film was designed for children under 13, people old enough to have enough nastalga for the old tv show, and people who do drugs. It was a constant barage of bright colors and patterns that are more commonly found on the iTunes visualizer, but the film managed to hold my attention for two hours.

On Friday night, I got a call from Megan (or was it Cameron?) saying that the drive in theatre on 371 was opened again and they were showing Transformers and Live free or Die Hard. I've seen Transformers at least 15 times, but I never thought I would ever see a film at a drive in so I thought I would check it out with Megan, Cameron, and Paige. The picture was great and the audio came from the radio (crazy science) and it was an enjoyable experience. Not sure when I'll go again, but it was still a good experience.

My journey to waste all my money of movies was completed on Saturday when I watched Indiana Jones IV with Jeff. I know a lot of people are giving it a lot of shit for being cheesey and for going over the top too many times and all I can say is yeah, they did cheese it up and they did go way over the top (all I can say is the scene with the monkeys= What the fuck were they thinking). It also was an entertaining film that made me remember why Indiana Jones is such a bad ass even though he's probably a member of AAPR. Check it out, what's the worst that could happen? you might have a good time long enough to forget that it costs $4 a gallon and you live 20 minutes out of town.

Walls

I've been sitting on this video for about a week now and just remembered about it because I'm listening to the Walls EP from The Red Paintings. Enjoy above or under the influence.

Semifinals Part 1 of 2

Round 2 (finally)

Black Label Society vs. Rage Against The Machine



The battle of the bands have been suspended for the past few months because of the difficulty in finding where the hell Zakk Wylde went after his previous fight. It was discovered that his band mates were unable to be found because they were doing a gig in a prison in New Jersey similar to what Johnny Cash did, but were mistaken for prisoners because of all their tattoos and beards. They’ve been in the hole for the past 4 months for, “back talk” and, “touching” after repeatedly being told, “No touching”. Instead of having both bands meet at a designated site to fight, it has been determined that it would be much easier to just have Rage meet up wherever Wylde is because it would be impossible the other way around. That said, the location for today’s fight is an abandoned playground near Chernobyl.

Zach de la Rocha and Tom Morello decide that they are going to try to sit this fight out in order to save themselves for the next round because they are quite confident in their “BAMF” abilities and decide to watch from a safe distance. This only takes place because of the insistences of drummer Brad Wilk and bassist Tim Commerford who think they are ready to go to work on a stammering Zakk Wylde attempting to fit into a child swing set. Instead of just hitting him in the back of the head with a brick or one of the dirty needles littering the playground, Wilk and Commerford decide to toy with Wylde and begin pushing him on the swing in an attempt to make him sick and just pass out thereby avoiding a lot of conflict. Well, instead of making him pass out, the pushing just manages to get Wylde to come to his senses (at least to one of them if blind rage counts as a sense) and he begins thrashing around in the swing set causing it to buckle under the stress. One of the poles that support the swing set bursts free and impales Wilk in the thigh in a freak accident that you would only encounter in the Ukraine. With Wilk pinned to the ground and quickly bleeding out Tim Commerford decides that he needs to get to work and grabs Zakk by the collar and begins head butting him repeatedly. This goes on for a solid 45 seconds until Commerford falls over due to auto-blunt force trauma to his forehead and slumps to the ground.

Zach de la Rocha and Tom Morello see what’s happening and realize they need to step in but soon realize they can’t. They were watching from too safe a distance and the picnic table that they were sitting on and watching from was in fact a giant spent fuel rods that were removed from the power plant. Shitty, right? Well anyways, radiation sickness takes hold and both are dead within 4 minutes.

WINNER - Black Label Society


Round 2

Muse vs. Radiohead



This is the fight for the United Kingdom. Both bands have earned quite a reputation and are known for their ability to rock the fuck out. For years though, there has been criticism of Muse for being Radiohead knockoffs and they aim to put that to rest today because they’re hoping that there will no Radiohead to knockoff. On the other side of the fight, Radiohead have proven to be industry pioneers for years now and figure that adding another count of murder by duel would be a hell of a way to blaze some new trails. The location of today’s battle is Stonehenge.

Both bands meet up on time at the ancient site and agree to shake hands on the understanding that whoever wins has to hold a bad ass concert that night at Stonehenge just for the sake of playing a concert at Stonehenge. This ends up being such a great idea in the members of Muse’s eyes that they decide they really want to play there that night and release it as a sequel to their last live album H.A.A.R.P. Once both bands walk to their side of the circle inside Stonehenge, Matthew Bellamy and bassist Christopher Wolstenholme pull out their Tec 9’s and shoot Radiohead right there.

WINNER - Muse

Two-Headed Boy?

I've been struggling with the problem of where I want to go next year.

I've been accepted to UW Madison and I can't figure out if I want to transfer there from Concordia or not. I've got strong reasons for both places and I am sort of interested in what other people think.

Thoughts, ideas, comments?

anything?

Such a Pretty House

I enjoy Burger King, but I guess Burger King doesn't enjoy me.

I went to eat there for the first time in about 3 or 4 months yesterday with Nick and got two of my favorite burgers; the Rodeo and the Whopper Jr. I guess that's where I fucked up.

The rest of the day I had some of the most intense gut-rot/heartburn I've had in over a year and the odd thing is I'm not a 65 year old high powered fortune 500 executive so I have no business having heartburn or a possible ulcer. I ended up falling asleep around 3:30 and waking up at 5:40 this morning because I think my body eventually gave up and just shut down.

We didn't have any Pepto Bismal at the house so I ended up pounding a shit ton of tums all night. I counted it all up and I took 44 tums last night. Awesome.

Karma?

Awake

Phrase: Girl Talk

Definitions:
1. A heart to heart talk between two individuals
2. Crazy ass DJ and pseudonym of Gregg Gillis.

It has become something of a normal occurrence for a DJ or some dude in his basement with GarageBand and some free time to combine two (or possibly three) songs into one creating a mashup. I'm not saying that they aren't sweet or ingenious, it's just that most of the time they consist of only two tracks with similar bpm and get put together.

Girl Talk doesn't stop at two songs (or three or four) when he's mashing it all up. What Gillis does is he combines upwards of 10 to 20 different songs, chops them to pieces, and throws them all together into one cohesive song. What's odd about this is how well it all blends together and doesn't seem forced. He doesn't add a single note to any of the songs he puts together; it's all samples.

Check out his stuff on his myspace and just try to pick out all the samples in each song, because after a while it becomes a little addicting after a while and the complexity of each song goes up just a little bit.

If each song is just a bunch of samples, can he call an album he releases as something entirely his own, or is it all other peoples music? oh well.

Fun fact - his 2006 album "Night Ripper" consisted of over 150 samples and clocked in at only 42:05. wow.

I like my coffee black like I like my metal

I wasn't too sure as to what I would be doing my first week off of school, but I had a pretty good idea. I guessed that I would sleep far more than any normal person should (check) and play a GTA IV until it became a little bit sad (check (tear)). By the way, GTA IV is the shit.

While I've been doing said activities, I also found this. All I can say is that this is one of those websites where if you end up on it you should just give up. I guess it's kind of like ending up on the sexual predator website only you don't end up on Dateline NBC.

Oh god, this is just as bad if not worse. I have to wonder just how high these guys were when they decided to actually be ripped out of their fucking head's to the point of wanting to use someone else's. yeah

My Voice Just Echoes on these Walls

It has been a hell of a week.

Finished finals on Thursday. From Saturday up until Thursday, I had managed to rack up something like 10 hours of sleep. I don't want to sound like a pansy, but that fuckin sucked. It was all good though. I did alright (I think) on my Biology final which is alright, but as far as Spanish goes, I might as well have been a part of a pillow party. It was bad, but I'm done with Spanish forever.
and ever
and ever.
Oh, I managed to score in the 97th percentile in my Chemistry final bringing my grade from an 89.8 to 94.1. Sweet.

I bought GTA IV on thursday and it's everything that people have said it is and somehow more. I've only begun to scratch the surface of the game, but all I really can say is wow. I find myself looking at the skyline while on missions sometimes because it's so beautiful. check it out if you get a chance.

I went to the U of M to visit an old friend, Megan over the weekend. It ended up being a really good time which I was prepared for. I'm pretty sure I'll post more about this later.
Highlight - going to "Hell's Kitchen" and buying a ham and cheese sandwich with little cut up pieces of pear in it.

Really quick, Trent mother fucking Reznor, being the mother fuckin person he is, just released ANOTHER album tonight (that's why I'm up) for free on his website. I know that there becomes a point when people just realize, "shit dude, i'm loaded", but this is getting to be rediculus. There isn't even an option to pay for it. There isn't even a donation link. He's pushing releasing a half dozen albums in a two year span. I'll give my thoughts on the album when I'm able to listen to it with some nice headphones.

God damn Iron Man is tits. That's about all I've got to say on the topic along with my opinion that it's the best superhero film since Batman Begins and is in my top 3 for superhero films although I'm not sure where. check it out.

Death By Deer

Against my best interests, I'll do a quick post.

A while ago in Bio we were working on the reproductive system and some of the things that were said in class were so good that I had to write them down. Because it was 8 in the morning, I didn't remember that I had written these gems down until now, when I'm studying my ass off for the final tomorrow. Enjoy

Dr. D started class off by saying something to the effect of "No matter how old you are, some things will always be inherently funny. Like Penis or Vagina or my personal favorite; Erectile Dysfunction."

We all chuckled because she was trying her darnedest to break the ice and loosen us all up for god knows what when a kid to my immediate left replied, "So do you mean LDS?"

Dr. D - "LDS? I'm not quite familiar with that."
Kid to left - " Oh, you know, LDS. Limp Dick Syndrome."

There was about 5 seconds of just silence before Dr. D started laughing hystericly and like the tired sheep we are, joined in too.

There were more exchanges throughout the class about testes and what happens during birth at the hormone level, and even a little snippet of her child birthing experiece culmonating with her causing her husband to bleed from squeezing so hard and screaming "Don't you ever fucking touch me again" (she slipped).

The best part though was when Dr. D was talking about how the fetus when it becomes large, puts a lot of pressure on the bladder. Dr. D is all about us making the connections between the body (lazy) so she asked "What is it that pregnant women do as a result of this".

Some winner in the back replied "Well, don't they wet their pants all the time?"

some people.

Porkchop Sandwiches

yeah. I'm almost done with school. I've got two finals tomorrow and then because of a school loophole, I'm able to take my third final (which was supposed to be tomorrow as well) on Thursday so that's nice.

Because I didn't plan nearly well enough for finals I've been going to bed late and waking up early for a while which isn't too bad, but after this long it's strating to get to me. I'm not too good at dealing with being tired (narcolepsy says what?). I've slowly been building up a wicked addiction to caffine all year and now it's getting to be not all that funny anymore. Since Sunday I've drank a case of Diet Dr Pepper and about 10 bottles of Vault. shit. fuck it.

Speaking of being addicted to uppers I figured I would throw this out there. There might be a Crank 2 coming out in the near future staring Jason Statham again and it supposedly takes place right after the first one. As in it takes place right after he fell out of a god damn plane and smoked the ground. I don't know what to think of this but I can only hope that this is real just because I want to someday meet the exec. who green lit the film.

I'll leave with this. Everybody has a video or two that they can watch countless times on youtube or college humor, and I've got one too. It always manages to make me smile no matter how stressed or confused I am (which is more and more often as time goes on) so please check it out and I promise it's not a rick roll.



EDIT - I brought my xbox 360 home last time I went back just because I knew I would piss away my finals playing GTA IV. I can't fuckin' wait to get done then waste my summer away playing it.

Tragedy, Tears and Laughter

So, today I was killing some time during my open hour, and I came across this.
Tell me the headline isn't at least a little humorous.

That Little Guy? I Wouldn't Worry About That Little Guy.

Yeah, I'm just going to take a quick break from studying to share with the world.

I'm a fan of facebook for a handful of reasons, but my absolute favorite is finding inconsistencies in peoples profiles. Here's an example of what I'm talking about.

A friend of mine (who'll remain nameless) who I'll refer to as "Mount St. Ellens" has recently gotten back together with an old girlfriend and within 10 minutes of it becoming official between the two of them, it became official on facebook with a relationship status of "in a relationship with..." Problem was that he didn't change the very next status which was his looking for section.

It still reads "Whatever I can get".

I'm sure it was just a simple overlook, but its still funny to me to think that right after getting into a relationship he's still on the prowl for more. It might only be funny to me because of my massive sleep debt accumulated throughout the week/semester/year, but who knows.

Upon Hearing That His "Brah's" Ladyfriend Cheated on Him

Brah 1 - "Lets go right now, I don't give a fuck about my econ test tomorrow. I'll put on my cut-off tshirt and you can grab yours and we'll head down there and fuck some shit up!"

Me - "Are you two going to beat the shit out of a girl?"

Brah 1 - "No, we'll just scare the living shit out of her."

Me - "right."

Easy Killer

Trent Reznor is one busy motherfucker. I've mentioned on several occasions that NIN is one of my favorite bands and I'm always excited to hear about new developments or material that manages to make its way to the masses. Let me give a quick little history lesson to explain why I'm so happy right now...

Ever since 1989 with the release of Pretty Hate Machine and all the way up to 2005's With Teeth, Trent would release a major studio album (not counting remixes or ep's) just about every 5 years (PHM-1989, The Downward Spiral-1994, The Fragile-1999, With Teeth-2005).

This isn't the case anymore.

In early 2007 NIN released Year Zero which for many was a half-assed effort full of clicks and glitches, but I thought it was a damn fine record and that's all that matters right? This was a great! An album in only 2 years rather than the normal 5.

Trent wasn't done yet. He allowed fans to remix the fuck out of it and he released that bad boy as The Limitless Potential. It wasn't a real album created by Trent himself; rather, it was his personal favorites and it was good.

Instead of taking a break he released another remix album Y34R Z3R0 R3M1X3D which consisted of proper remixes created by the likes of The Faint, Saul Williams, and the Kronos Quartet. Was he done yet? Fuck no, he just finished his last contractual album to Interscope records? Why stop there?

Recorded in just over 10 weeks Ghosts I-IV which was a damn good instrumental album and fuck, it cost 5 bucks.

Well, I guess the NIN train isn't stopping just yet.

Trent just released a new single entitled "Discipline" on the radio today and it actually features vocals. Word on the street is that the track was mastered yesterday and he wanted to get it out as quick as possible and I would have a hard time saying that he didn't get that baby out as fast as he could.

On the NIN website today it said "2 weeks" for a while and last time he did that, Ghosts I-IV came out.

Could it be Year Zero pt. 2? Please god

Are You Anywhere?

Well, when I wasn't relieving myself all over Nick and the surrounding area, I had a pretty damn good weekend.

Nick summed it up quite nicely - there was 151 (I took a solid 4 shots from what I can remember) as well as navel piercings (although not mine) at Julie's party and it was one of the more badass one's I've been to in a while based solely on the ridiculous level of my blackout. Fuck it, it's all good.

I managed to watch Forgetting Sarah Marshall and I've gotta be honest: that movie fuckin rocked. It truly was a Judd Apatow film (well, he produced it) and there were a shit ton of one liners all the way though. It also contained a few things that every film needs to have. There was full frontal male nudity and if Borat taught us anything, it's that a penis is funny no matter who you are. There was dirty, dirty songs, one of which is titled "inside of you". I'll let you figure that one out. And of course, there was the best Dracula's Lament interpretation I've ever seen on film. Check it out (this is just some audio dubbed over some S St. in case anybody was wondering). If you've got nothing to do for two hours and want to laugh at someone's emotional pain; this is for you.

One last thing before I go. I found this today while screwing around and thought that it might come in handy eventually for someone who reads this pile.

Drip Drip Drip

Friday night there was a small shindig at Julie’s house and it was “stiche” to say the least...

Belly button piercing, 151, Jell-O shots, and of course stich pissing all over… This story begins in a room small guest bedroom with two beds. One of which stich was sleeping in and josh was in the other. I was on the floor in-between the two. Shortly after josh left his bed to go down stairs I hear the familiar noise splattering liquid after a late night. “Is stick blowin chunks?” I think to myself, when suddenly I feel a warm wet sensation on my right leg. I sprung from the floor and soon realized that stick was emptying his bladder all over the guest bedroom. I said something along the lines of stick what are you doing at which point he replies “Dude just trust me”.

I thought Id share this story because it is all that Is “stiche”.

The American Dream

The American Dream has finally come into focus for me today and here's why.

So yeah, I might be living in a utility room next year with a water heater and furnace. I'll update when I'm updated... Not sure if I can make a joke out of this any more than it already is so I'll just stop with that.

Oh, and I got accepted to UW Madison. I don't think I'll be going there though because I really think that this (Cobberville) is the best place for me.


Half way there

UPDATE: - I haven't actually seen the room, but it's been likened to Harry Potter's broom cupboard and a boiler room... I'm liking my prospects for next year

Also, Does anybody listen to Isis?

Pictures in the Gold Room

It took me 10 days of vigilant f'ing up, but I finally saw Be Kind Rewind and I've gotta say I was quite impressed with what I saw. It was just a little bit predictable, but in a good way if that makes any sense. As always (with the exception of The NeverEnding story III) Jack Black was highly enjoyable by being Jack Black and Mos Def flexed his acting muscles a bit and pulled off the leading man roll quite well (see what I did there?(could I count that as a pun)).

I put my iPod back to shuffle today. For the first 3 years I had my iPod it was always on shuffle, but I started picking up concept albums and albums that are meant to be listened to sequentially (Godspeed You, Sigur Ros, live albums) and for about 2months I was rocking out that way. I know it sounds a bit weird, but I wasn't as big of a fan of sequentially played music as I used to because I can distinctly remember hating it when a cd was set to random back in the day.

One last thing. I finally took a chance to look at my schedule for finals and found out that I'll be taking every last one of those bastards on Wednesday the 30th. Sweet

Don't Hop on the Fence

It's been one of those weekends. Everyone has had at least two or three every year and this was one of them for me. It wasn't a bad weekend (no minors or fist fights), but it wasn't really a stellar one though either.

I take that back. The weekend was just another weekend, but there were moments of greatness and moments of not so much awesomeness.

Awesomeness:
Friday and Saturday night I managed to have a good time and mingle either in the dorms or elsewhere and that was pretty fun. at one of said get-togethers I managed to find some dude who still had respect for Nirvana as much as I do. I know that when you look at their body of work it's quite simple, but it also seems like hating on them is the cool thing to do these days.

I found out about Aesop Rock. Aesop Rock is a rapper from Long Island and his rhymes are fucking sick. I've never been much of a hip-hop fan even in the loosest of definitions, but Aesop Rock transcends the genre in my opinion. Just check this video out and I'm sure you'll like it.

None Shall pass
Can you hear that flow?

Not So Much Awesomeness:
On friday night a group of D-bags decided to get shitty drunk and f up the 4th floor bathroom (my bathroom). I'm all for drinking in the dorms, but these guys decided to drink themselves silly and throw up irresponsibly. They vomited in two of the five sinks on the floor, in and around a urinal, and all over a toilet. Jesus Christ.

Not sure if this is or isn't awesomeness:
I decided to watch godfather pts. I & II Saturday afternoon. Giles had taken his DVD's back home so I ended up watching them on A&E which because of commercials added a whole lot of time onto the movie. I was watching them from 3:00 in the afternoon to 9:20 at night and was only halfway through pt. II. I guess it was cool watching the movies but I pissed away so much time while doing it... Damn.