Douse Basketballs in Gasoline

I had a nice Friday night. The Brainerd football team was in Moorhead (which incidental is where my college, Concordia College, is. Who knew) so I got a call from Nick asking if I want to check the game so I did just that.

When I got there, it was already midway through the first quarter and the score was tied with 7. Eventually we ended up winning, but that'll be the extent that I will talk about the game itself because that's not what this post is about.

While I was there I ran into quite a few people from Brainerd including smitty, Phil, Hummer, and of course Nick. I've gotta take a quick detour to congratulate Nick because he gave himself a full blown mullet on Monday and this was the first time I saw him since then. A full blown mullet. Props dude.

Anyways that's still not the real reason I wanted to make this post even though that was a highlight. There were quite a few mosquitoes at the game ( There were actually more than I've seen all summer which is odd because I would have thought they would have all died seeing as how it's late September now, but I digress) which caused everyone I was sitting with to get rather disinterested with the game by the time the 2nd quarter was almost over.

Everyone except for Hummer.

Hummer was anticipating the half to end not so he could get to his car and drive away in his cowboy boots, no, it was so he could talk to Chet. Yes, the legendary Chet that acts as a muse for Nuclear Balloon Arrows and The Cafe Coronaries. With less that a minute left, he positioned himself close enough to the sidelines where the teams leave to go to the locker rooms so that he was well within earshot of Chet once he began the trek himself. I was wondering why it was Hummer looked so excited to see this man. The answer came to light and erased the enigma that had plagued me for all of 45 seconds.

It was a lifting guide. Yep, a lifting guide. And not just one, but two "In case you get a friend to come along". I suppose I should mention that I've found out that Hummer has been using Prohormone which is the closest thing a person can get to taking full blown steroids without getting into the sticky situation of using drugs that are banned from nearly all forms of competition due to a vast array of side effects that quite frankly aren't too super. The funny thing about prohormones is that they happen to cause many of the same side effects that are apparent in steroids. "Some side effects are acne, hair loss, breast tissue enlargement, and prostate swelling."

Sweet.