We Will Never Die...

Living life to its fullest is never easy. Especially when you go here, the conservative capital of the WORLD, Fargo, ND. And when I say conservative, I mean it. Papa bear Bill O'Reilly would look like Goldie Locks in a nice cardigan sweater around here. Yes... that conservative.

"Hey you, over there. Get yer shit kickers on and follow me, we've got black people on the road." "Why yes sir, I have had sex with my cousin." or the ever famous "What's the difference between a black person and a picnic table?" are all too common phrases thrown about here. It's almost as if I live in West Virginia.

Maybe I don't fit in because I don't chew tobacco? or maybe it's cause I don't hunt anymore? or maybe it's cause I am not racist/inbred?

I am no longer a man here, but rather a concubine domestic capable of cooking, cleaning and knitting.

Trapped in a hotbox with cold crosswinds, my soul lowers itself till I am on par with the drunks at the bar.

Left for death, I find solace in the warm, euphoria of long-cut needles and down-home twangin'

Now my soul rests.

Rising from the ashes of the occasional Marlboro man, I am no longer a man, but a MAN

And thus life goes on, in a vicious cycle of crutches and cows, conservatives and cess pools

Always living beside you, looking down, and laughing.

I am conservative