The Next Episode.

There are few things I hate more than my 8 in the fucking morning speech class. I've always dreaded public speaking for some reason that's beyond me (it probably has to do with all those cats I lit on fire as a kid) so when I realized I'd have to take a speech class for a whole semester I knew that I'd have to make the best of it and find the little things in it to keep me going.

This morning we began giving our persuasive speeches which is just what it sounds like, we are supposed to persuade the audience into thinking the way we do on just about any topic we could think of. Most peoples were pretty damn lame like "stop drinking bottled water" or "avoid crash dieting", but there was one speech that trumped all of them within 30 seconds of starting.

A kid named Mike began his speech just like this - "Why is marijuana illegal? it's a plant that grows in the dirt which makes it natural. How is marijuana, which is completely natural, illegal while there are complex drugs out there that give 80 year old men Hard-ons".

I even looked at his note card after the speech and he had underlined the phrase "Hard-ons" several times for what I'd imagine emphasis.

I never thought I'd hear "Hard-on" used in a college speech, but I was wrong.