My Christmas break was pretty friggin' sweet in many, many ways which I'll briefly touch on because I feel I have to (plus I need to take up some space). I managed to hang out with/ get moderately drunk/ get blackout drunk/ trip fucking balls with four of the Stiche Corner's authors which was a treat because if anyone is honest with themselves, any moment not spent with Tom Day is a moment that should be spent either quietly weeping in the corner or preparing a quadruple murder suicide packt. I'm not kidding when I say I had a great time with everyone I saw in Brainerd and I even managed to fulfill one of my goals that I had planned over break which was to not see Colton once (Fuck Yeah!).
It was also really nice to get back and do the things that I love to do back home like ice fish (on the two occasions I did there were one and zero lines in the water respectively) and loiter around Book World without even the slightest intention of buying anything. That said, I did actually buy the book "No Country For Old Men" because I was such a big fan of the film (best film I've seen in about 3 years). Instead of reading it all in one sitting (the Harry Potter method) I've managed to pace myself with this one and I'm making sure to make it last because I spend 15 fucking bucks on a heap of paper, but I'm okay with that.
Speaking of loitering, at one point I found myself at a hobby shop on 8Th street by a tattoo shop which was full of frolf disks and model airplanes and railroad sets (Motherfuckin' Thomas the Tank engine set too), but the true gems of the store were the real treat. On one shelf there was a model of the IRS building that someone could purchase for about $40 bucks cash money. That's not the best part though because it wasn't just a model of the IRS building, it was a model of the IRS building on fire complete with smoke and a 9 volt battery that can power red and orange lights that could be placed inside the building... God bless America. The other gem at the store was the plethora of different stun-guns that were available for purchase. There was the standard one that everyone is familiar with that we all see in movies, but there was also one that looked just like a cell phone as well as a strait up cattle fucking prod that could be yours for the low low price of 49.99. The most powerful one that they had on stock looked like a plastic set of brass knuckles except instead of fucking up your face by bludgeoning, this one sent 950,000 volts of 9 volt straigt up your ass. The proprietor at the time managed to sum up the beauty that it was in this phrase that I'll try my best to recite (I got pretty damn drunk that night). "This one here is great for self defense because all you have to know how to do to operate it is to know how to punch. If you punch 'em in the kidneys they'll piss themselves, punch 'em below the navel and they'll shit themselves, punch'em in the head and you've just put someone down for at least 15 minutes".
I've got more to write about, but I didn't want to blow my proverbial load that was x-mas break in one shot so I'll save the rest for another night. hopefully by then I'll have finished No Country and kicked my Elmer's glue addiction by then, but we'll see about that. I'll throw in some Stiche dollars to anyone who can point out the TV reference I put in this paragraph.
I'll leave you with this because I couldn't work it into anything I wrote. Enjoy
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