Pie

Day 1.
Morale - high.
Status - Optimistic

I just finished the last of my mid-terms and I am confident that I rocked the last test of the day, my Chem. Test. I’m pretty sure that I may have seen one of my classmates crying quietly to herself about 10 minutes into the test. HA. Speaking of that Chem. Class, I’m in a class of just over 100 (which for Concordia pretty friggin big ((avg. class size is only about 15 or 16)) and it’s full of nursing majors and physical therapy majors which creates a hell of a gender disparity. Out of the entire class, I’m one of 3 dudes (or bros if you will). It was weird at first, but I just realized all the better chances for Stiche master flex.

Anyways, I pack my shit and get ready to head to Iowa to see my family for a few days over spring break. My whole family is from Iowa and I’m the only one to be born in Minnesota FUCK YEAH! The trip is always the same. Shitty drive then I get to see some family which is nice, but eventually boredom sets in and I just count seconds.

I make it to Iowa just after 9:00 and I’m greeted with open arms and everything is going good. Maybe I’ve been prejudice to Iowa, It’s not that bad.


Day 2.
Morale - medium-high
Status - Enjoyment

Well, I managed to see about 25 of my distant and not so distant relatives on the pops side of the family and I truly enjoyed myself. In more ways than one, the day became a sort of Family Reunion which is always nice. At around 3:30, things took a turn for the questionable. I started hanging out with some cousins who are pretty damn badass and we always have a good time. We started talking about College and how we were enjoying it and naturally the topic turned to booze. Everyone seems to enjoy White Russians and wouldn’t you know it, they love the Big Lebowski as much as I do.


Day 3...
Morale - low.
Status - So damn bored.

I’ve lost most of my motor functions due to a deficiency in overall life enjoyment. It’s a constant struggle to fake interest, but apathy is in full swing. While with my grandfather today, he did the usual; gave me old clothes of his [PIC]; gave me a one size fits all hat of the “Millennium Club“ pretty sure they weren‘t even popular in 2000/ He gave me two of the hats even though they happened to be exactly the same. yeah. Lord have mercy on my soul.

I can’t help but feel that this is some sort payment for prior sins. I am now a true believer in Karma and it’s ways. It is quite hard trying to find a light at the end of the tunnel when my vision is obscured by corn. Heaven forgive me.

Day 4 (maybe)
Morale - Apple
Status - unknown


I’ve lost track of time somehow. I’m not sure if I’ve been here for days or weeks or seconds. As far as I know I’ve always been here and this is what I’ll be for eternity. I attempted to watch the Oscars, but realized that there was no electricity where I was at. Just corn. I look down and I’m not wearing shoes, just thongs. I attempt to focus all of my energy into one moment of clarity. Of reason. Of Stiche.
Nothing.

I get into some sort of silver beast that smells faintly of apples. The horrible images that I see when I look in any direction are but streaks of all colors. But mostly corn. Then all of the sudden I realized or better yet sensed something. I don’t know how, but I knew it’s sanity. My sanity. I look all around me and see a welcome sign. It says Minnesota on it.

Then it all comes rushing back to me. I’m home. I’m a college student. I have a blog. I’m a, a, a, Cobber?

Son of a bitch.


So yeah, Happy spring break in February. If you’re in town give me a call because I’m sure I won’t have anything going on…

p.s. On the way home there was a weird rain/snow/sleet/hail weather pattern that would repeat itself every 15 minutes or so and it was the worst driving conditions I’ve ever been in. On one 10 mile stretch I counted 35 cars in the ditch. Hell yeah