Tribute to Stiche

I figured this blog, since it's in the name of stiche, would enjoy some beer snobbery. Let me start by saying that, surprisingly, I'm not the alcoholic I envisioned. I did some drinking in high school, but VERY little. And I don't do much more than that here at college, but I have developed a keen sense for beer starting a long time ago. I never drank much, but I do love beer. I enjoy sitting back in my free time and knocking one back just for the hell of it, and this is my beer knowledge to this point. I will rank the beers I have had thus far: Guinness Extra Stout, Heineken Original, Keystone Light, Coors Light, Miller Lite, Leinenkugel's Honey Weiss, Leinenkugel's Original, and I've had six different types of Sam Adams, each with a very different taste, but the beer list is getting huge enough, so I'll just talk about my favorite Sam Adams - Honey Porter. (I also must say that I am biased toward full beer as opposed to light. I'm not trying to be a hardass, I just really like the full flavor better.)

1. Heineken Original - this shit is delicious. The malt flavor and hops really come through together to offer a very full taste, but surprisingly clean finish. If you're a fan of light beer and want to go on to something more a) manly, b)tasteful, then a Heine is for you. You can definitely drink one and not feel a heavy gut. I give this beer an A-, because I haven't had real German beer yet, and I'm hoping that will rank higher.

2. Guinness Extra Stout - this beer is not for the faint of heart. It's actually BLACK. If you're new to beer drinking, keep away. Guinness has a very bitter finish that new beer drinkers won't necessarily like. It's more for a seasoned palate. You can actually smell the abundance (relative to other beers) of malt and hops - malt especially. It's a very thick beer, and after one, you're good. If you drink another, you may puke up black snot. B+

3. Leinenkugel's Honey Weiss - the original "chill" beer. Unless you're well-trained, the honey can't really be tasted, so don't see the name and think, "hey - honey, I like sugary shit." - NO. It's just a really good beer that you can't go wrong with when you just want to hang out. B+

4. Sam Adams Honey Porter - now you can taste the honey. This beer is actually pretty thick, right close to Guinness, but has a smoother finish. I like it quite a bit, but it's not the first beer I'd go after. The problem with Sam Adams is that it's trying to be as good as an import, but it's brewed domestically. Somehow, whether it's psychological or not, that turns me off. But Honey Porter is a good domestic experiment. B

5. Leinenkugel's Original - this stuff is actually a lot like a Heine, but less. Leinenkugel's stuff has a distinct taste present in all of their beers, and it's most apparent in original. The problem is that the distinct taste really doesn't ADD much. I give it a B- because it's a little better than average, but it is sort of blah.

6. Coors Light - sucks, but retains some kind of feature of full beer in that it is flavorful, but not enough for my taste. C-

7. Keystone Light - sucks more, as Keystone IS Coors, but shittier. at $12 for a 30 rack though, this is essential for beer pong, floorbangers, or just blacking out. D

8.Miller Lite - sucks most. This is alcoholic water with blended shit. Z-....---....-

So there you have it. If you've actually taken the time to read all of this, and you are of legal age (disclaimer), try some of this shit out. It's pretty good.