The Stiche Corner - Sort of like a Norman Rockwell painting, if Rockwell had been influenced by hookers and cock fighting.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Gaping Anal Destruction

I drink very little, and I'm a freshman in college, but despite all odds I think I'm becoming a booze snob.

I just do not see the appeal of drinking shitty, shitty beer and doing shots of disgusting vodka until I slur my speech and I can't walk straight and I feel hot and tired. That is not for me.

I think my problem is I learned how to drink from my parents, so I like what they like:
Dad-
1.Vodka tonics with lime: bitter and delicious
2. Bloody marys: smooth and spicy and invigorating. Best when served with a spicy pickle, to cut the tomato

Mom-
1.Good scotch: straight, or with a little water. Warm and tingly.
2. Wheat beer: smooth and flavorful
3. Red wine: Tasty and warming. Really great with good food, or some cheese.

Translation: I drink like an old man. All I need is a smoking jacket and a swollen prostate and I'll be set.

Plus side: I get to feel superior to people who drink super-sweet shit that doesn't even taste like booze. Also to people who purchase pre-mixed drinks--fucking jack and coke or white russian in a can? Ridiculous. Making the drinks is half the fun.



P.S.: I just watched Star Wars last night so I'm still a little pumped up from that.

1 comment:

bundy said...

good choices of drinks. i'm not much of a liquor man, but scotch has its place. and i love red wine and any kind of beer....max...i think i'm in love with your mom.

For Vanities sake

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